Querying and Blind BB’s

Why did my father ignore my mother?  She knew I was as responsible as gorilla in a banana truck.  “You’ll put your eye out, kid!” was more than a funny line from A Christmas Story.  It was an acknowledgment that all boys are brain damaged.  Part of this is because testosterone begins splitting the right and left hemispheres of our brain as early as twelve months, but there is also the brain fart factor.  When boys want to do something, our brain simply shuts off the common sense lobe.  Case in point- my night of shooting BB’s in the dark.

It started innocently enough.  My father bought me a BB gun and my mother said that I could only shoot it when my father was with me.  That sounded fair enough until my dad was sent to the Mediterranean for six months on an air craft carrier.  Really, Mom, six months without my rifle?  It hardly seemed fair to an eleven year old.  My history teacher told me that Thomas Jefferson or some other guy in a wig said that a law that was unjust wasn’t really a law. That seemed a good enough reason to sneak my gun out at night, right?

I flipped off the backyard light and sneaked out of our townhouse.  Laying in the grass, I crawled through the back yard and looked for a target.  It was dark so I couldn’t see what I was shooting, but if I listened close, I could hear things ping.  So I simply pointed the barrel in the direction of the playground, pulled the trigger, and listened.  Pop….ping!  I hit something, cool.  Pop…  Man, I must have missed, trying again.  Pop…ping!  Woot, got it! 

After a magazine of good pings, I reloaded and tried shooting up in the air, around my back, and even with my feet.  No harm was being done, I thought.  It was just playground equipment.  The back porch light suddenly came on.   I spun around to see my mother at the door.  She glared down at me.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?  You know you’re not supposed to be playing with that! Give me that this instant!”

“Aww, Mom, I was just shooting at the playground.”

She looked up in horror.  I spun around to that I wasn’t shooting at the playground after all.  My neighbor had company and they parked their new Oldsmobile behind their house.  I’d been dinging their car the entire time.  By shooting in the dark, I’d caused more damage than a hail storm!

I’m about to send out queries for my latest book.  It’s hard to know what to put in them.  I feel as if I’m shooting in the dark and will wind up doing more damage than good if I don’t target the right agent with the correct query.  Oh well, at least I don’t have any BB’s, right?


One response to this post.

  1. Posted by jennifermajor on May 8, 2012 at 1:08 AM

    You shot a CAR?!?!?!? AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!


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