‘Twas the Christmas in the Trailer

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‘Twas the evening before Christmas
And through the trailer house
Not a varmint was itching
Not even a louse

The stocking were stapled to the paneling with care
In hopes that ole Santa would get his tush there

The kids were all sleeping still wearing their clothes
While thoughts of electronics their dreams did compose
And mamma in her nightgown and I in my briefs
Had just finished fighting and sorting our beefs

When out in the yard I heard such a racket
I grabbed for my gun off the living room bracket
Away to the window near the old propane tank
I flipped up the shade and turned the big crank

The moon on the glow of my Ford pickup truck
Gave me plenty of light for some sitting duck
When what to wondering eyes did appear
But some crazy old man bringing me some deer

With a short little driver, so quick and so funny
I knew right away ‘tweren’t no Easter bunny
Faster than a Harley his twelve points flew down
And he actually named them, that crazy old clown

“C’mon Dasher! Move it Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen!
Get going Comet, Cupid, and Donner and Blitzen!
Get up on the porch and climb up the wall!
I thought, “What a moron, those deer will all fall!”

And then in a moment I heard overhead
The scratching of metal. That’ll cost some bread
As I gathered myself and was turning about
Through the vent shaft came Santa tearing up grout

He was wearing a fur, from his foot to his head
I knew that PETA would want this man dead
A bag full of toys was hanging on his back
He looked like a bum, or someone on crack

He was chubby and plump, a right crazy old coot,
And I laughed so hard, it made me poot
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Made me kind of nervous, but there was nothing to dread

He never said a thing, but went straight to his work
He filled all the stockings, I felt like a jerk
And laying his finger right beside his nose
And giving a nod, out the vent shaft he rose!

He got in his sled, to the deer gave a whistle
And off they flew like a rocketed missile
He yelled, “Merry Christmas!” as his image did dim
I guess he was Santa.  I’m glad I didn’t shoot him!

PJ Casselman

 

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6 responses to this post.

  1. Thanks for bringing back wonderful childhood memories… lol.. Can I get deer for Christmas this year?

    Reply

  2. I loved this poem so much I have put you on facebook…. well done, I look forward to more poems from you, have to catch up on the pontiac now

    Reply

  3. Posted by einefeistyberg on December 7, 2012 at 8:46 PM

    Very creative – you know, in a trailer park sort of way.

    Reply

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